So, Salad #4
That's my kind of salad. It doesn't even have any worthless lettuce on it, so you know it's got to be good.
That bad boy right there is made with sautéed shaved Brussels sprouts, pan blistered heirloom tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, marinated baby bella mushrooms, smoked blue cheese, flat iron steak, and a Balsamic, soy, sesame, vinaigrette.
Let's talk about it a bit, but not too long, because I don't have anything to wax philosophic on today, and after all, that's just a fucking salad. There's no so much we can say.
There is one thing: given that I don't like salad, and many other people don't like it either, this could perhaps turn into a good blog with ideas for people who don't like salad.
First of all, it's got meat on it, so you know it's going to be good. I used flat iron because it's what they had at the store, but what I really prefer is marinated outside skirt steak. This is the stuff that gets mostly used in fajitas, but it makes a good marinating and grilling or sautéing meat too. But they didn't have it so I bought the most over-rated flat iron because it had some good looking fat on it, and it was, just OK.
The other thing going on here is the marinated mushrooms. I marinated these in soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, garlic, red wine, salt, pepper, and a touch of smoked paprika. Then, I sauté them and add to the salad while they're still warm. They have a great meaty flavor that compliments the Brussels sprouts very nicely.
The heirloom tomatoes are small cherry tomato size and this time of year you don't get really good tomatoes, even if they are flown in from half way around the world, so I like to toss them in a screaming hot pan so they blister, and start to pop when the juices stream from the inside out. This results in the tomato being a touch sweeter, but the acid is still there, and nice against the richness of the meat.
Smoked blue cheese is just a gift from above - if you believe in that kind of thing - and I suggest putting it on everything. Hell, I'd eat my own stinky gym sneakers if you put enough smoked blue cheese on them. Seriously, the stuff's that good.
My dressing is pretty much the mushroom marinade, so let me tell you how to make it. There are no measurements to this dressing, and it will help you to understand how simple this shit really is. All these fucking cookbooks go on and on about the precise measurements, to the point where all the top chefs are not trotting out these books with the measurements in grams! Fucking grams people??!!! I mean, if the chef is from a metric system country then, sure, I get it, and of course almost all of them are, but when the chef is an American what they're telling you is, "I'm very precise in my measurements, and you should be too, otherwise your shoemaker and can't play at my level." What pretentious bullshit. Just cook the food Thomas, we are all already suitably impressed by your badassary.
Get a Tupperware container, or something that looks like it that has a good sealing lid. Put into the container some Balsamic vinegar, and some mustard, preferably who grain, or Dijon, but seriously if all you've got is French's Yellow Mustard, that's fine. Also, go buy some decent mustard for Christ's sake, you look like a country bumpkin who eats four hot dogs a day, and we're all judging you. Yes, judging you, and before you ask, "Who are you to judge me?" the answer is, "I'm fucking me!!! I'm no different than anyone else... " We're all judging people all day long. It's like my father always said when I got ready to do something really stupid, "People will talk." Oh I didn't care at the time, and I thought it was insane, but you know what I don't have any tattoos; there are no pictures of me wearing parachute pants; I don't have any piercings; and overall I've turned out just fine.
Of course, people still talk.
Anyway, after you put the vinegar and mustard into the container, add some sesame oil, soy sauce, minced garlic... Wait hang on... We need to talk about garlic.
You can totally buy the pre-minced shit in a jar at the store. Anyone who tells you otherwise can get bent! Yes, it's weaker than fresh garlic, so you know what? Just use more! It's fine, and it also has the added bonus of having liquid garlic juice you can pour into things to jack up the flavor. Seriously, that liquid that the garlic is in, is pure gold! We'd have to get deep into a science lesson to get to the bottom of it, but if you pour that shit into anything savory it will jack the flavor beyond comprehension. It's like MSG... Wait, it's not like MSG, it pretty much is. Which is to say it's packed full of glutamates. (Don't start with me an MSG... If you've got something bad to say, I promise there will be a blog post about it, and you will be made to look silly.)
So, the vinegar, mustard, sesame oil, soy sauce, garlic... How much of each? It doesn't matter. Do it to your taste, but I suggest using your noise rather than mouth because before the oil goes in, you're talking about a lot of vinegar.
So, this is the only ratio you need to know... 1:3 That's vinegar to oil. You can use olive oil, or whatever suits you, but you need a 1:3 ratio of vinegar to oil. That's 25% vinegar, 75% oil. How much of each depends on how big of a batch you want to make. So do that... Add the oil. Then put the lid on the container and shake the ever living shit out of it until it turns a light brown color. Then, salt and pepper to taste - this time you can use your mouth hole to taste it - and spoon it over your favorite salad, or whatever. It makes a great marinade too. Heck it's so good, you might even be able to get away with making a savory cocktail with it. If you do, let me know.
So that folks, is how you make a vinaigrette. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
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